A calm mom. This is what I strive to be. A calm person for my children. A space of quiet and peace in an otherwise busy and often chaotic world.
The word strive above is very important, because goodness knows sometimes it is just so hard. Long, long ago when I had only my oldest I was calm a lot. I would even say often. But after the birth of my youngest two, so close together and so (SO) busy, being calm became a lot harder.
It is so easy to get swept away in the busy-ness and the craziness of having young children. And it is so easy to get swept back into the space where I am going through the motions, putting out the fires, and secretly longing for bedtime.
But that is not what I want for myself or for my little ones – and so I strive.
Small, simple things I can do each day that will bring calm to my home, and be the calm for my children.
I was reflecting on the transformation that has taken place in our home over the past two years. Of course, my little ones have gotten older which certainly plays a large role – but it is more than that. Our home is still busy, my kids are still busy – but I no longer feel as busy. For the very most part, I truly feel calm.
I know I write about the importance of quiet time a lot in this space – and I have thought of three other small and simple things I have changed that I feel really help with this calm.
I thought I would share them with you too – just in case you are seeking calm and it all feels too overwhelming.
The first thing I changed was going to my children – when it is time for dinner, when we need to head out the door for an activity, when I need to ask a question. Instead of hollering from the bottom of the stairs or the kitchen, I walk to the room they are in. I take a minute to see what they are up to, I listen to anything they eagerly want to say, and then I say that it is time for dinner (or anything). This has dramatically decreased the amount of yelling back and forth, which is far from calming. This has decreased the whining and the “But I am busy!” which is far from calm. It has increased the respect and the connection between us. And – you guessed it – the calm.
The second thing that has really helped me has been to create a to-do list. Now this one sounds a bit counter-intuitive – but hear me out. Being present is a big part of being calm. I struggled with this, as I, like most, have many things to do in a day. I have found that having a running to-do list on my counter has allowed me to focus more on my children and really be present for them. Before I started this, I would be playing zoo with my youngest and think of an email I was supposed to send. I would then either fixate on that thought and try to wrap up the play so I could send it, or I would try to sneak away for a few minutes to send it. As SOON as my phone or laptop pops up, I feel the calmness disappear. Now, I jot, ‘return email’ on my to-do list and can put it right out of my mind. During rest-time I tackle each of those items one by one, all on my own, in one fourth of the time it would have taken me with my little ones helping.
The third every day thing that I have changed is honoring special moments for myself. Creating a rhythm. While the vast majority of things I do in a day are for my family and my children, I now take care of myself too. Every single day before I get my little ones up from their quiet times, I have a cup of tea. I sit in quiet. I don’t have my phone or computer with me. I drink my cup of tea and it is one of the best moments of my day. It is such a simple thing, but has brought so much peace. I do a few little things like this every single day. Another example -after the kids are in bed, I walk out to the chicken coop all on my own, say goodnight to the ladies (truly – a few by name), shut them in for the night, and walk around our farm a little. A simple special moment to myself that I can count on happening every single day.
It has really become so apparent to me that calmness is possible no matter how busy my little ones are. I have this quote in my family room that says, “PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
These small every day things bring that calm to my heart, and allow me to be the mom that I really want to be for my kids.
Thank you so much for reading friends.
xo
Sarah
Such a good reminder of how to find and make calm in our busy, busy days.
thanks for the tips, Sarah.
I’m going to share this article on one of the FB Homeschooling groups I’m in.
Thank you Kath – and thank you so much for sharing.
I would love a copynof these book. I strivenfor oeace as well and would love more tips on how to do this.
Good luck Kathryn, thank you for entering!
I am going to try going to my children…life is loud when I scream from the kitchen or when they scream from their bedrooms…How is our house supposed to be quiet with so much screaming…makes sense…thanks 🙂
Good luck Racquel! It has worked wonders in our home. It really is those simple little things that add up.
You truly hit the nail on the head. Beautifully jotted. Thank You ❤
You don’t know how many nights I look back at my day and think “when did I become such a screamer and how can be better for my kids”. I used to be soo calm. This article really speaks to me. I will definitely read this book and hopefully be able to take away some life changing points. Thank you for sharing.
Nicole, thank you so much for sharing your honesty and heart. I believe this book will be so helpful to you. I have entered you in the giveaway – good luck!
I love these ideas. I am thinking that if I start going to my children, maybe one day, they may do the same for me! Wouldn’t that be magical?
Thanks for you beautiful words and encouragement, Sarah! Peace is so important in motherhood.
Thank you so much Christie, xo!
thanks much very much enlighten and inspirational ?
I am so happy this post was helpful to you, Faith. Thank you for joining me!
This sounds like a book I need to read. I will certainly be looking it up, but winning it would be even greater. Thank you for this thoughtful, honest post.
I am so happy to hear it has resonated with you Danielle. Thank you for entering – good luck!
I would love to win this book!
Wonderful – good luck Connie!
I missed the deadline for the drawing so I guess I’ll have to look for the book at the library. Thanks for the tips. Love this blog and your info so much!!
Thank you. This little nugget was exactly what I needed to turn my week around! Excited to put these tips into action TODAY!
WooHoo! Go Amanda! Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck! xo
I’m finding myself more and more NOT calm. Somehow knowing I am being crazy and not calm, makes me MORE crazy.
Haha! Yes, I can completely understand this sentiment! The very fact that you are aware of this is the perfect starting point Alyssa. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Wow! This is a message that my heart needed. Motherhood is such a journey – a wonderful, but exhausting journey – and one full of ups and downs. These daily changes seem small, but I can see how they have the potential to change how one approaches motherhood. I can’t wait to check out the book. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
Aww thank you Patricia! I am so happy this post resonated with you. Thank you for your encouragement and for entering my giveaway. Good luck!
A good read for moms of any stage in life!
Thank you so much! Good luck!
I find myself striving (and failing) to be a calm mom all the time. My two boys deserve more calmness in our every day routines. I am excited to hear it may be more doable than I think.
I can completely relate Katie. But striving is the first step and absolutely wonderful! Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
These are great ideas. I definitely want to bring more calm into our lives. Life can feel chaotic and the feeling of overwhelm can hit so fast. Being present and grounded is so important!
You are so right Jen! Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
These are great tips. I have 5 grandchildren that I spend a lot of time with and your blog has helped me learn to work with the kids on a level that makes us all happier.
What a compliment, Cath! Thank you so much. And thank you for entering this giveaway, good luck!
I love these tips! So much so that I wrote them down in my bullet journal to remember. The to do list is already something I have in place and keep in my bullet journal but I need to be better at leaving those things to “rest time”. I’m going to try these today! Thank you for sharing exactly what I needed to hear.
I am so happy this post resonated with you Pam! Thank you for your encouragement and for entering this giveaway – good luck!
These are all great tips! And so easy to put into practice. Thank you for sharing.
I am thrilled you liked this post Alicia, thank you for entering the giveaway!
I’m looking forward to what this book has to say in depth! As a mom of twin 4 year olds it is such a struggle to find that calm space! Thanks for sharing these tips!
I can imagine Shandra! A very busy season indeed – thank you for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
With 3 littles (4yr, 2yr, 3mo) I could definitely use the encouragement of calm within this book…Great blog post. Thanks for sharing
What a busy season you are in Vanessa! Thank you so much for entering this giveaway, good luck!
Oh I would love to be more calm! Thanks for these tips Sarah. Definitely want to check out this book to learn more!
This sounds like such a great book! I love the idea to keep a running to do list on the counter. It’s like a braindump you keep adding to. It helps to get it out of your head so you can focus on your kids or whatever else you’re doing. Love that!
Happy that idea resonated with you Tara – a braindump – exactly! Thank you for entering this giveaway, good luck!
I really appreciate this post. I would love to find more ways to bring calmness to myself and my family.
Wonderful Caitlin. So happy this post was helpful to you! Thank you for entering this giveaway!
I love this! So encouraging and the steps are simple enough to start right away! Thank you!
Thrilled this post resonated with you Stacey – thank you for entering, good luck!
I identified so much with what you wrote. Longing for calm in these crazy, suddenly-homeschooling-full-timedue-to-COVID days. There’s a lot of fun and joy for sure during this adventure, but a lot of stress, too. I’d love to read more on the topic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. God bless.
I am so happy this post resonated with you Sarah. You are absolutely right – it is a very crazy period of time! Thank you for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
CAlm is something I always strive for but seldom reach the first to things you do I believe I can do the last is the step I find the hardest to do. I try but usually only accomplish it maybe 3 times a week after reading this I’m really going to try to do it every day it just between teaching, going to school myself, and dealing with my son’s additional needs I forget to make time for myself.
I can appreciate that feeling Crystal. Making time for ourselves can be very challenging – especially when we are in a very busy season of life. I hope you can find a few little nuggets of time in your day to breath. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
I’d love to be in for the draw for the book! Thanks for the offer!!
Awesome Jodi – good luck!
Wow, this calm post could not have come at a better time. I think if I don’t win this book I will go out and buy it because life seems very busy right now and very chaotic with my 4 littles. Thanks for sharing your few tips. I look forward to reading more!
Oh goodness, Marianne – yes, four littles will certainly make you feel that way! Solidarity, my sweet friend. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this post! The impact we have on our children is so deep, being calm is so important. Love the tip for quiet time by yourself. Will definitely try and incorporate that…no phones!! Thank you
The phone thing is SO HUGE! I waste my precious free time on there more often then I care to admit, but being mindful of it is the first step to making the change! Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck, Jane!
I’ve been praying for peace in our home. It seems like the kids make bickering a full time job. I really like your first tip and will be intentional about applying it from now on. Thanks!
I so appreciate your thoughts. Speaking directly instead of shouting through the house makes such a difference in my already noisy home.
I tend to overreact to situations and then have to reel things back in, apologize, and move forward. I pray often to respond more graciously from the get-go.
I am so happy this post resonated with you Kinsley. Thank you for your encouragement! Good luck with this giveaway!
Thank you so much for this insight. I’ve shared them with my daughter, who has a baby and a 4 year old. They’re things I already do, but didn’t realize I did! There have been times she has said to me, “I don’t know how you did it with 3 kids and I only have one! (now she has two!) She’s finally learned to be a list maker–I’ve made lists all my life and when you get those things out of your head, it helps you to be relaxed/focused/in the moment.
Thank you Kathleen – yes, the list making was a real eye opener for me! Thank you for sharing my post and for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
Grandmas need help staying calm too…..I just “blew up” at my 4 yr old granddaughter and now I feel terrible. Kids sure know how to push our buttons but grown ups need to stay calm. I sure could use more tips…these three are great. Thanks. —
Such a wonderful point Sarah! Anyone caring for littles could use this book – thank you for entering! Good luck!
A sense of peace in my home seems nearly impossible. I have 4 little ones, 4yrs and under. Finding time to give them each their individual attention along with being there for each bump and bruise, making meals they’ll eat AND getting all of my stuff done throughout the day is almost never done. And I haven’t even mentioned the clean up part yet..haha. A todo list is a great idea though getting my little ones down all at the same time in order for me to have my own time has yet to happen. Chaos is what I feel all day everyday and they behave in such a manor. To have a sense of calm upon me would make everything from my kids behavior to my relationship with my husband and family so much better. Thanks for the recommendation and tips, I will try to get ahold of this book when I get some free time.
Hi Mari – oh can I ever relate to this! You are in such a busy season with little ones being as young and close in age as you are. Do you have help? That was the biggest game changer for me when mine were too little to have a consistent quiet time. Once your littlest is about 2 or 3 you will see a tremendous shift – until then, I really suggest reaching out to your ‘village’. Sometimes as Moms we feel we need to do it all on our own and this is simply a toxic mindset. Where in the world are you? Perhaps you are close enough to me that I could be a part of your village? xo Thank you for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
I LOVE these tips! As a mom of 3, I find it so hard to be calm a lot of the time. This gives me so much hope that it is possible and I can’t wait to check out the book!
Thank you so much Tiffany. It really is possible – though sometimes things still look like a crazy zoo on the outside, you can find a way to still feel calm in your heart. I am excited you are embarking on this journey! Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Love all your suggestions and approach Sarah! You are such an inspiration!
Aww – thank you so much Hayley! xo
Thank you so much for this post! It could not have come at a better time as I struggle to get through this pandemic with a 4yr old and 18mth old twins. I hope I can make some of these changes too for a calmer and more peaceful home.
Holy Moly! What a very busy season you are in, Ashley! I can only imagine how difficult this time has been for you. As the world opens back up I hope you get more and more help from your ‘village’. Thank you so much for entering my giveaway. xo
I defiantly would like to learn to be more calm, I look forward to reading this book. Thanks for share your 3 tips.
That is wonderful Darcey, thank you so much for shairng!
At a time when everyone needs to find a few moments to reflect on what is really important, being in a peaceful place certainly is a great idea. Thanks for sharing…it was truly meaningful.
Cathy
I am so happy this post resonated with you, Cathy. Thank you for taking the time to read and for entering my giveaway! xo
So beautiful, and such a sweet reminder! Just love reading your insights and wisdom, Sarah! Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart to encourage us moms!
Awww – thank you so much Kristin! What a lovely message to read. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
These are very POSSIBLE ways to help keep a calm environment! I’m excited to shift focus to them in my life.
I am so happy you think so Corinne. Thank you for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
I needed to read this today Sarah! It’s been a not-so-calm week with 3 kids ages four and younger. I love these heartfelt, practical tips for cultivating calm in the midst of the crazy season of young children. Thank you for sharing!
You phrased that so well, Anne! It is a “season” with young children – busy, messy, crazy! But finding a way to be calm in our heart through it all ensures we really get the absolute most out of it. Thank you so much for entering the giveaway. Good luck!
This is amazing and I would really be interested into more details about how to truly apply this wisdom into my life. I “crave” a more peaceful atmosphere in the house!
Thank you for entering Roxy! Good luck!
I need this in my home. I have two little boys, 1 and almost 4. Their dad died from chemo toxicity 7 months ago, and there is nothing calm in our home anymore! I’m a stress ball, quick to snap. They don’t deserve it and I need strategies to help me enjoy being with them!
Oh Ashley. I am so very sorry to hear this. Please let me know if there is anything I can do from this side of the computer to help you during this terrible time. Perhaps some quiet time eBooks? Please let me know. Take good care, Mama. xo
I am a teacher and a mother so I would love to get a copy of the book The Heart of Learning. I need to be calm on the inside and the outside both at home and at school.
Wonderful Margie – thank you so much for entering the giveaway. Good luck!
I love thesr 4 things for staying peaceful
I will be teaching 20 PreK students in August!!
20 PreK Kids! Goodness me! Patience of a saint – good luck!
Such lovely suggestions and I can see how they would be so helpful to more calm and in the present.
Go to kids! Yes! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Kate! Good luck!
Hi Sarah,
My littles are just over a year apart and I struggle daily with keeping a calm house. I have signed up for countless parenting classes looking for something that will click but everything seems so abstract I struggle to put it in action. I am going to try your concrete tips in hopes it can bring some peace to my house.
Thank you for all you do, I look forward to your emails.
Hi Jennifer! Thank you so much for entering this giveaway. You are in the midst of a very busy season with littles very close in age. I find it helpful to remember that calm is a feeling within – when my boys were very little, our house would still be messy and crazy a lot of the time. Do you do a daily quiet time? Email me if you would like (sarah@howweelearn.com) I would love to support you further. xo
Thank you for these tips! Love how simple but very impactful they have been bringing peace into our home. Especially the tip of going to them to talk and encouraging them to do the same to me. With 3 busy boys, this has helped us all practice self control with showing honor and respect to each other.
That is wonderful Julie! I am so happy to hear. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Great, easy ideas I could implement right away!
I am so glad they are Deanna – thank you for entering!
I love everything about this article especially walking to the kids instead of shouting for them. Thank you for these simple tips!
I am so glad this post is helpful to you Sara – thank you so much for entering my giveaway!
Calm…peaceful…joyful. My aim right now. Thank you for your suggestions! So simple and yet I can and see how the how they would be so helpful!
Wonderful Sharon – thank you so much for entering!
These are such great ideas. Sounds like this would be a great book for me!
Wonderful Amanda – thank you for entering – good luck!
Ahhh to feel and be the calm! Great to hear how simple yet how powerful these things can be. So interested in give a read. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Heather! Good luck!
Calm seems to be eluding me, especially with this summertime heat! Thanks for the suggestions! I am fond of having a cup of tea but often find that I am interrupted many times and at the end of the day find myself having reheated the same cup throughout the day!
Oooooh yes! I can so relate to this as well! All of these comments are bringing me back to just before I started our daily quiet time – which actually began with this very book. Thank you for entering the giveaway! Good luck!
I NEED calm. I know we all do, but with four young kiddos, one with special needs, and a hubby that works so hard to keep us in the black, I run myself ragged each day just to keep everyone happy. Only, it isn’t working. At times I fear no one is happy. I would love to learn some tips and tricks to tip the scales and feel less worn out at the end of the day! Thanks for offering to give away a few books to help!
Hi Jill – I can certainly relate to this comment and my heart feels for you! Do you do a daily quiet time? That was a huge game changer for me. One hour to myself in the middle of the day has made an incredible change in my life. Please email me about that if you would like (sarah@howweelearn.com). Thank you for entering my giveaway! Good luck!
I absolutely love these beautiful reminders to find calm in the mom life. I have 2 kids (3&5) – bright, chatty, curious, explorative, imaginative kids. And I’m soon to be enrolled in ECE in Vancouver as well as nanny-ing. So I love these helpful tips to find the calm in digestible ways. Thank you for sharing! I’m so intrigued by this book!
Wonderful Maya! I am so happy this post was helpful to you. You are certainly surrounded by littles, so no doubt this book would be wonderful for you! Thank you for entering my giveaway, xo
The To Do List has really helped me stay focused on conversations and activities with my children. I no longer worry about forgetting or coming to the end of the day without accomplishing some less enjoyable tasks. Calm for me is sitting on the back porch listening to the sounds of nature.
Wonderful Judith! Yes, the to-so list has been a game changer for me as well. Your back porch sounds like a lovely reprieve and perfect spot for some quiet contemplation. Thank you for entering the giveaway – good luck!
I am a grandmother who finds these strategies excellent! I will share them with my daughter-in-law. I will also share the book with her if I win!
Wonderful Glenna, thank you so much! Sharing is caring 🙂 xo
Great tips! I would like to strive to be a calmer mom too!
Thank you Felicia, good luck!
This sounds amazing! I lost all body hair 3 years ago due to stress so I’m constantly trying to find ways to stay calm. I’m so excited about the opportunity to win a copy of my own. Thanks.
I am so sorry to hear you have been going through so much stress Jeanne. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Thank you for this reminder. I know my kids (and I) will enjoy our time together more if I can be fully present in my mind and not just getting through waiting for the time to be over so I can move on to something I want to do. There’s too much angst in this house a lot of days and I know my choices are often the source. I want my kids to remember happy, fun, kind Mom, not yelling, stressed, or absent Mom.
Oh I relate to this so deeply Melinda. Very well said. Thank you for entering the giveaway – good luck!
I’m going to try the tips from the article. I find myself yelling for my son instead of walking and calmly asking him what I need. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for entering, Cheryl! Good luck with the giveaway!
I love the idea of going to your kids when you need to tell them something instead of yelling for them. It’s funny I never liked when my mom yelled for me to come down for dinner, but now that I’m the mom it’s sooo easy to do. I can see how it might take a little practice to remember to do but I can really see how that would help keep me a calmer mama in the long run! Thanks for your post!
Thank you Nicole! Yes, it is funny how we simply do things each day without really thinking about how they impact the calmness in our home. This little change has made a huge difference and increased my connection with my little ones as well. Thank you for reading and for entering the giveaway! xo
Love your Peace saying! You’re right about the to do list. We need to be present in the moment and all the other stuff can wait.
Thank you Carina, good luck with the giveaway!
Simple, well put. I to am a STRIVER of Calm.
Thank you Kerr – good luck!
Thanks so much for your wonderful words of encouragement Sarah 🙂 It is always a thrill to receive your emails and to learn new homeschooling or parenting tips. The Heart of Learning sounds amazing! So looking forward to check it out 🙂
Aren’t you the sweetest, Christina? Thank you for your lovely message and for entering the giveaway! Good luck! xo
Wonderful suggestions! I have five children and any ideas on helping me be a more calm mom is a win! Sounds like a great book! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for entering the giveaway Caryn! Good luck!
Congratulations Caryn! You have WON a copy of The Heart of Learning! Please check your email for more information. xo Sarah
These are helpful reminders in the day-to-day chaos.. Thanks for the encouragement!
Thank you Rose, good luck!
Great tips! The last one really hit home with me. Taking little moments through the day for me, things to look forward to that are calming. Love it! Thanks.
I am so happy this post resonated with you Julie – thank you for entering the giveaway! Good luck!
Oh that to-do list. It’s never-ending. But I’m going to try it your way – keep a physical list on hand while I’m playing so I’m not distracted! Great idea 🙂 I want to be a calmer mum – even while our lives our full 🙂
Thank you Sarah!
Wonderful Amy! Thank you for entering, good luck!
Thank you so much for writing this Sarah. I needed to hear these words because sometimes we just go go go. I appreciate your honesty. I find that I am certainly able to help my kids in my classroom find their calm every day but sometimes I struggle to fulfill this calm environment in my home with my own children. I love these 3 simple tips you shared and can see that they can have a huge impact and are so doable. Remembering to take those little moments of peace and also taking time for my personal mental health is also so important. When I am calm, my kids are calm and our house can breathe a little more easily. Thank you ? I am going to go pour myself a nice cup of tea now. ?
So wonderful Jacy. Thank you very much for entering – good luck!
Thank you for this great read, Sarah! This is actually the second time I’ve read it. I wish I had followed through with the tip about walking to your children instead of yelling. I definitely plan to be more mindful of my hollering going forward. Lol, I scold the kids all day long for being too loud or yelling, yet here I am doing the exact thing I’m asking them not to do. All because I am “too busy” to stop and go to them. I REALLY love the idea of utilizing those moments to connect with my children, as well. They are always so eager to share their activities with me, I just know they’ll respond well to this new technique.
One more thing: I love the quote you have in your family room! What a great thing to keep in mind throughout our day, as we strive for peace in our lives.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful message Theresa. I am so happy this post was helpful to you. Thank you for entering the giveaway! Good luck!
Thank you for these wonderful and simple tips. It’s amazing how making some small changes (going into the room that they’re in to speak to them rather than yelling, taking time for ourselves, and making a list can have such a huge impact! I’m going to start incorporating these into my day as well. We recently found out that baby number 3 is on the way so anything I can do to simplify and add calm to our lives, the better! 🙂
Oh congratulations Danielle! How exciting. Thank you for entering this giveaway – good luck!
Thank you for this! I especially liked your first tip. I would love to read this book! 🙂
Wonderful Erin! Thank you for entering this giveaway. Good luck!
Thank you for the helpful suggestions. CALM is the word I chose in the new year as my focus for 2021.
Well isn’t that timely? What a perfect word for this year. Thank you for entering this giveaway, good luck!
I have been doing quiet time for a few weeks. Holy cow the difference between us. We are much calmer, and happier! We’ve just started walking in rooms to get each other, there’s been less yelling and tantrums!
Oh that is so wonderful Julie! You ROCK! Way to go. Thank you for sharing this with me – such an encouraging message. Thank you for entering the giveaway, good luck!
Hi Julie! Congratulations!!! You win one copy of The Heart of Learning! Please check your email for more information. xo Sarah
Wonderful timely suggestions that I can put into practice right now.
Sara your post totally resonates with me. I also wants to be a calm and a happy mom to my children. But this tough routine and kids tantrums make you reaaly angry. Thank you for this thoughtful, honest and inspirational post.
I’m so glad this post resonated with you, Olivia. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share.