Have you ever wondered about ‘attachment parenting’? The theory behind it, how it benefits children, and how it can make you a happy mom?
I have. Lots. So I asked my friend Christie, who is an expert in this area, to share a few posts with us on this topic. This is the very first of those posts. This one is all about YOU!
I hope you love it. Get ready for your best Motherhood of 2020.
I love listening to motivational business podcasts. I can’t quite explain why – I’m a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, who doesn’t have a business. But gosh, do they ever get me all fired up. Goals, mindset, strategy, execution, self-development, time management… I love it all.
Early into devouring this content, I developed a burning desire to bring these empowering ideas into the lives of us with the toughest jobs – Moms. Us mamas carry such big loads for our family, and it seemed to me like the helpful concepts should be adapted for family life. Setting goals for a motherhood that is rich, fulfilling and nurturing should be something we are all doing. But sadly, this practice is mostly absent in motherhood.
It is tricky to bring goals into motherhood. There are very few metrics to measure. (Can you imagine… “My daughter only spilled her milk two times today! Motherhood goal achieved!”) And unlike entrepreneurs and executives, our time is not really our own to direct. So while goals for our motherhood might not look exactly like those in the work force, I still believe that Moms can and should set goals to reach their best lives.
Whatever you want to be in your motherhood can be yours. But first, you have to decide what it is that you want. Even the act of deciding might seem like a stretch in a season when all you want is to go to the bathroom alone. But there is a phrase I like: If we shoot for nothing, we’ll hit it every time. Even a tiny desire, when achieved, can be deeply satisfying. If you need help clarifying your desires, don’t miss the downloadable worksheet at the end!
How do you go get it, you ask? Well, the first step is to envision it. How do you want your life as a mom in this season with young children to feel? This is a completely personal choice. Some of us may desire more space to breathe, and some of us may be longing for more connection with our children. Honour yourself by being honest with yourself and true to your hearts desire. Then picture yourself in this place of balance, connection and contentment. Rest in that feeling and try to memorize how it feels in your body and mind.
“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.” – George Bernard Shaw
After you have a good sense of how your best motherhood feels, it is time to use your daily actions to vote for your new identity. In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear says that each action we take casts a vote for the person we want to become, or the person we don’t want to become. Each time we act in accordance with the mama we aspire to be, we strengthen that belief of ourselves as this identity, and change takes root.
If you know that you want to be a more patient mother, consider a couple habitual actions you could take to cast your vote for patient motherhood. Do you need to start your day with some quiet? Do you need to thin out your schedule? Do you need to adjust your expectations for your child? Do the things that would support the vision for who you want to become.
There is also an extension to this theory that us moms have exclusive rights to: Mothers are uniquely equipped to not only cast votes for who we want to become, but we can also cast votes for our children. We can build into who we know they are in their truest form. A mama’s vote for her children’s identity is strong and impactful.
As you look ahead to the remaining eleven months in 2020, cast your votes for the most authentic version of yourself and your kids. Cast a vote for your peaceful motherhood by carving out your daily quiet time. Cast a vote for your energetic motherhood by getting outdoors every day. Cast a vote for your kind motherhood by celebrating your daily successes. Cast your vote for your child by speaking words of goodness over them, by looking them in the eye when they are speaking, by engaging with them in something they love.
This is your best year yet, mama. Go fill out the free worksheet and live the wonderful motherhood you desire.
Thank you so much for reading friends! Be sure to come back next month to check out the next post in our series on attachment parenting.